My thoughts on breastfeeding

I never had any intentions of breastfeeding my children. When I was pregnant with my first, I was very young, and the idea of it honestly kind of freaked me out. I mean, who wants sore, cracked, bleeding nipples? I was somewhat relieved when my Dr told me I should not attempt it due to the fact that I lost so much blood during birth that I nearly died. Additionally, I was so severely malnourished that I needed all of my calories for me.

Along came the twins, and the thought never even crossed my mind. How could I breastfeed 2 babies, all while working full time? Plus, Avery was happy and healthy on formula and the twins would be too.

When I got pregnant with Maren, I always assumed I would bottle feed. I just honestly didn't have the desire to breastfeed and found all of the "lactivists" to be very annoying. But on the day of my scheduled C-section, a nurse (Susan) came into my room. She told me that she was responsible for coordinating "skin to skin" time after birth, and she asked me if I intended to breastfeed. I knew that she would silently judge me if I said no, so I (perhaps a little too enthusiastically) exclaimed "YES!" The look on my husbands face was priceless. He was absolutely shocked, since all we had talked about was formula. Hell, I had already stocked up on it! When Susan left the room I told him that I had only said it out of fear of judgement, and that formula feeding was still my true intention.

After my c-section, I was able to snuggle my little lady close to me while they sewed me up. Later, in the recovery room, the moment of truth came. It was time to put my baby to the breast. Susan was there to guide me and exclaimed excitedly "She has the perfect latch!!" I thought, sure lady, you tell everyone that. Tomorrow I will be rubbed raw and crying... But I wasn't. Not the next day, or the day after that, or even 2 weeks later! She really did have the perfect latch! I was astounded. 5 months later and I haven't had a moment of pain, nor has my baby had a drop of formula.

I can't say that my bond is any stronger with Maren (don't believe the hype) but I can say that I love not having to wash bottles! I also love having a free hand during feedings so that I can stroke her face or allow her to grip my thumb (so she doesn't scratch the crap out of me).

Never did I think that I would be bold enough to nurse in public, either. But I have surprised myself by whipping it out any and everywhere without a second thought... I've breastfeed in front of just about everyone I know as well as complete strangers in grocery stores, restaurants, and even walking around the Farmer's Market! Suddenly it doesn't feel so strange anymore.

I'm far from a lactivist though. I'm a firm believer that as long as you feed your child you are doing great! And my experience hasn't been completely without struggle--we've had some weight gain issues and, more recently, some supply issues. I'm not stressing out about whether I will make it to 6 months or a year or whatever other arbitrary number is out there. I will simply continue to breastfeed as long as it feels "right". Who knows how long that will be?

I can't say that I would go back and change anything with my other children, because I wouldn't. Formula feeding worked for us and I don't feel like I screwed them up or missed out on anything. But I AM glad that I gave it a shot with Maren. It has been a great experience and I certainly wouldn't have changed it.

If you are struggling with the decision of whether or not to breastfeed, all I can say is to do what feels right for you and your family. You really can't make the wrong choice.

Picture day at preschool!

Well, round 1 of picture taking was only halfway successful. Camille was in mega meltdown mode when I dropped them off, and they planned to do the pictures at drop off (before everyone got dirty). Much to the teachers surprise, Camille turned off the waterworks and turned on the charm. She sat in the chair, posing and smiling. Diz, on the other hand, laid in the floor and screamed. Wouldn't even sit in the chair. So they got no pictures of her.

When I picked them up, I took them in the room where they have all the equipment set up so they could "show me". I sat in the chair and put Diz in my lap and talked about how we will go back tonight with Avery and Maren to take pictures. She seemed excited, so hopefully that will help. I so badly want a picture of all 4 girls! I'm so glad this photographer is giving us the chance to bring siblings in. I've been wanting to do family pictures for a while, but the thought of paying a session fee and then having 1 (or all) of the kids melt down doesn't make me happy.

On another note, they get a daily report, and one of the areas on the form says "Today your child liked..." and Dizzy's said "anything Camille had". Ha! Oh how true that is. Every time Cam picks something up, Diz says "mine!" and follows Cam trying to snatch it from her. Cam always gives it to her and gets something else, but then Diz wants THAT thing... At one point yesterday she was holding 4 toys, all snatched from Cam haha. But the teacher said Cam had no problem standing up for herself today, so that's good...

Cross your fingers for us tonight! Their photo appt is an hour and a half after bedtime, so I'm kind of hoping they will be delirious and giggly by then...

With preschool comes sickness...

Well, the twins promptly got sick their first week of preschool... They were only there on Tues and Thurs morning, and by Thurs night they were both congested. I think this was the first time they have been sick in over a year! Of course they shared the cold with everyone else... It seems to have hit me the hardest. It all settled right down into my chest, and I feel awful. The kids are all fine now. It amazes me how quickly they bounce back! I will probably be sick for two weeks!

Speaking of preschool, they are doing awesome! They both cried the first 2 days (me too), but yesterday Diz managed to hold it together. I could tell she wanted to cry, though. Her little lip was trembling, and she was blinking her eyes rapid fire to hold the tears back. Meanwhile, Cam let loose and laid in the floor in a puddle of tears. I am crossing my fingers for NO tears tomorrow... Wish me luck!

Not much else to report today. Just ready for everyone to be well again!

M-I-Z....

When we moved to Missouri, we dove head first into the local culture. A big part of that culture is The University of Missouri. Last year, Mizzou made the move into the SEC, so we purchased season tickets for football. D and I both had high hopes that we could create a family tradition of sorts, and raise little girls that love football. He was worried that Avery would get bored at the games and it would be a big waste. Boy, was he pleasantly surprised! This girl LOVES football. All last season, she asked questions about first downs and penalties and field goals. Now she is an old pro!

We kicked off our second season in the SEC last Saturday. This year, a friend of D's also picked up season tickets, so now we have some friends to tailgate and attend the games with! I think you will be able to see in the pictures below that our home opener was a HOT one, and this week will be no different.

I'm looking forward to a great football season and making more memories with our biggest little girl!

Naps make me a better mom

The twins started part time preschool this week. They will only go on Tuesday and Thursday from 9-1 and, really, the only reason we enrolled them is because they desperately need socialization. They have gotten too used to the world I have created for them at home, and its to the point that any change in their routine or surroundings sends them into hysterics. They freaked out the other day simply because I moved my cell phone charger from its usual spot on the counter! And don't even get me started on Camille's fear of hair...

Anyway, an added bonus of preschool is that I got a NAP Tuesday! What a thing of beauty it was! I'm pretty sure that 45 minute nap transformed me into mother of the year, because yesterday we had the best day ever. I took the twins to gymnastics at 9:15 and since we had about an hour to kill between the end of class and when we needed to hit the road for our CSA pick up, I decided to take all 3 itty bitty's to IHOP. By myself. I won't even pretend like I wasn't terrified. But everyone did so well! The twins sat in booster seats like big girls and just took in the world around them. Maren nursed and slept happily in the Beco while the rest of us ate. Camille and Elizabeth loved their pancakes (and added ketchup--yuck).

While we were eating, we were approached by 3 different sets of adult twins that wanted to chat. I kept thinking about how cool it was that they were all just hanging out, having breakfast together on a random Wednesday morning. I hope my girls are always that close.

I can't even count the number of people that commented on how well behaved my girls were. It made me feel so good! I guess I need not be scared of taking them places by myself anymore. 

After breakfast, we headed out to the farm (an hour drive each way) to pick up our box of produce for the week. The girls helped me fill up our box and didn't whine at all during the drive. I am a very lucky mama.

Oh, hai there!!

I guess it's been a while, eh? Life has changed so much since I last posted... We moved to Missouri, Avery is in 2nd grade, the twins are 2, and we have added another beautiful little girl to the family!

I just discovered the Blogger app, so I am hopeful that I will be able to update more often now! Plus, I will have a tiny bit of free time when the twins start preschool on Sept 3rd.

More to come...